Monne (That's What I Want!)

a while ago, i mentioned that i had purchased a self tanning product from QVC called Monne Express Self Tanning Liquid, $24.50. i was extremely excited to try this but somehow when it finally arrived at my house, it got shelved in the bathroom and slightly ignored. on a whim the other day i tried it, and mon dieu! i am shocked, stunned, awed, wowed-- you get the drift. this is THE FIRST SELF TANNING PRODUCT I HAVE EVER USED THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE A REAL TAN! i truly cannot believe it! after testing so many gradual tanners and regular self tanners and bronzers and lotions, i have finally found THE ONE!

anyways, the Monne Express Self Tanning Liquid comes in, of course, a liquid form, which is very thin and basically the consistency of water. i was very worried about how i would apply this smoothly seeing as how i knew it would take ten years to do using cotton pads the way they demo'd application on QVC, so after reading some reviews i went out and bought a foam brush (left), which is basically a sponge on a stick, a very common art/craft store tool that cost me a mere 79 cents at Fred Meyer. this turned out to be one of the best investments i have made in years! i would say that the foam brush was crucial in getting a nice, smooth, QUICK application of the product. at first i tried the cotton pad method and basically it was garbage and was taking forever, plus i can barely stand to touch cotton, it makes me cringe! using the foam brush, i squirted a small amount of the product onto the sponge and then dabbed it on my body, blending in circular motions with first the sponge after i had it in the right spots, and then my hand. this worked like a charm! very easy, i would recommend this method to anyone (like myself) who is NOT a self tanning expert. you could also mix a small amount of the liquid with your regular body lotion if you'd prefer to apply that way! it definitely did help to have my boyfriend present to do my back, but i'm sure everyone has a friend who could help them do this, or if you're an expert, you've figured out a way to do this by yourself (how?). after i had applied the product to my whole body, including face, i was very pleased at how it dried immediately and didn't feel the least bit sticky. however, i noticed a few spots that looked a tiny bit streaky, and since you are directed to apply the product to clean, moisturizer-free skin, i also looked somewhat dry. i solved both these issues by applying lotion and rubbing it in very good, which blended together any streaky areas, kept my skin soft, and helped everything turn out very evenly. literally, i have not ONE word of complaint!

after initial application, i looked very nice and naturally tan, but that was because of the guide color of the product (which did not rub off at all on any of the clothes i wore that day or night). when i woke up later that evening after taking a nap, my body was nicely tanned in a subtle but still very noticeable way! when i washed my face however, it looked kind of pale. i was disappointed, and did another quick facial application, and the next morning when i washed my face again, it was golden tan perfection! absolutely NO streaks, no tell-tale orange areas, just a perfect golden-brown tan in my naturally tanned-skin color. i just couldn't (and still can't) believe it! i truly thought i could never find a self tanner that i would be happy with, and i am ecstatic with my Monne!!! several days later, my tan is fading evenly and slowly. i am in LOVE with this stuff! i would do free advertising for them, which i guess this post is, because i beg of you-- TRY THIS PRODUCT! you will ADORE it! i could go on and on, but i'll spare you my insane gushing ;D

so far, the only place i've found Monne available to purchase is QVC, where they carry the liquid version and an Express Self Tanning Spray Duo where you get two 5.29 fl. oz. for $39.84, a fabulous deal in my opinion. visit QVC and order some for yourself, and let me know how much you love it!

Express Yourself

hello readers! today i'm going to give you a few of the reviews i've been promising, starting off with Jergens Natural Glow Express (pictured above in Medium and Medium/Tan). this new product from the Jergens self tanner + moisturizer-in-one category promises to give you a deeper, darker tan in less time than their original Jergens Natural Glow. the package says...

• now the Jergens brand gives you natural-looking summer color faster than ever before. only Jergens natural glow express moisturizer is formulated with our exclusive Glow Perfecting Complex. this proprietary blend of skin tone specific color enhancers and anti-oxidants is designed to give you natural-looking color in less time.

i never tried Jergens original Natural Glow because i heard and read the many horror stories about how it stunk so bad people actually had to take another shower after applying just to rid themselves of the stench! the first one of the self tanner + moisturizers i tried was Dove's Energy Glow which was nice in texture and moisturized well but turned me a deep jaundiced yellow color instead of the natural brown/tan that i was going for. i had very high hopes for this new Natural Glow Express because people had really loved the color they got from the original Jergens and when i smelled this lotion in the store it didn't stink at all. i hopped in the shower 3 nights ago and exfoliated thoroughly, dried off and applied, making sure i took extra time to massage the product in evenly. the texture is heavenly! it's very nice, not a bit sticky and absorbs quickly leaving your legs soft and moisturized. i went to sleep eagerly anticipating my soon-to-be bronzed legs! in the morning, however, i was not so enthused.

i woke up to very orangy legs and lots of spots and patches all over my feet! now i'm the first to admit i'm no expert at self tanning, until two years ago i was a bad kitty who laid out in the sun and even frequented tanning beds, but this was pretty splotchy for a product that promises to be user friendly since it's not straight self tanner. if the only problem had been my feet i would still give this a stellar review but there were definitely areas on my legs where the self tanner had tanned better than others as well. plus there's the color! not natural looking! not hardly! maybe i should have tried the version for Medium skintones instead of Medium/Tan seeing as how i am very pale to begin with, i don't know. i'd be willing to test out that version and write another review if the results were different. i figured since there was some uneveness after the first application i would do another that night to try to make it more uniform, but the next morning i just woke up to a darker orange 'glow'. very disappointing! also there is the factor that at $8 (give or take), the product is only 4 fl. oz. i can't see how it would last for very long if you were doing your whole body as i'm sure most people do. for me this was definitely a miss, but i do encourage you to test it out the next time you're at the drugstore, it could give you beautiful color, you never know. i would rate this a 4/10. hopefully when i get around to testing my Monne Express Self Tanning Liquid i'll have better results!

interested in Jergens Natural Glow Express? check it out here, or at your local drugstore.

TEAM JENNIFER

hola readers! and how are you all today? well i am reeling after my trip to the grocery store where i happened upon all the gossip rags sporting pics of Jennifer Aniston and Jon Mayer cuddling by some pool! if you didn't already know, Jennifer Aniston is my favorite actress/celebrity/starlet/person-- i love everything about her, and i am SO 100% Team Jennifer. she is sweet, funny, kind, gorgeous, and so amazingly classy (do you remember that Vanity Fair article with her? it was the first interview she gave after her and Brad split, and she never said ONE bad word about him the whole time? that is CLASS my friends). i was also a fan of Brad Pitt and Angelina "The Homewrecker" Jolie until their whole scandal erupted a few years ago, but i loathe both of them now and think they're literally insane (i don't care HOW much money you have, NO ONE needs to have 13 kids, money doesn't equal time and love and no parents as busy as Brad and Angelina have time for 13 kids, yes, they plan on having THIRTEEN KIDS). anyways, you can imagine my suprise when i glanced at the magazines and saw my favorite actress cuddling with Jon Mayer! check out the interesting photos...
there's this one, where i imagine that Jon is saying "Hey Jen, pass me the Parliament Lights" and Jennifer is contemplating her next red carpet dress, and this one...
...where the dress dilemma has been solved and now they can relax. LOL!

anyways, to score a perfect poolside look like Jen, i recommend exfoliating thoroughly the night before with a grainy scrub or exfoliating gloves (i prefer the gloves), followed up by a healthy dose of self tanner to get your body glowing in a smart way. i just received this new self tanner from QVC called Monne Express Self Tanning Liquid so i'll be testing that out and doing a review soon, but some tried and true self tanners to check out are St. Tropez's Tinted Self Tanner, Bare Escentual's Faux Tan, or if you like a moisturizer + gradual self tanner in one, Jergen's Natural Glow or Dove Energy Glow.

before your poolside debut, make sure your toes are looking good by giving yourself an at home pedicure! nothing is raunchier than a gorgeous swimsuit and strappy sandals with busted up toes to top the look off! soak your feet in warm, soapy water and then use a foot file or pumice stone to scrape away the dead skin and calluses that form from a winter of wearing your favorite boots. for nails, my favorite polishes are by OPI because they have a great variety of colors, an affordable price (around $7 per bottle), and a high end finish. and they make a fabulous Top Coat and Natural Nail Base Coat which extend the length and quality of your pedicure for weeks! if you're on a tight budget but still want some color on your fingers and toes, check out NYC's nail polish. it ranges from $.99-$2 at the drugstore and does a pretty good job of staying put for the price.

when you wake up the day of your pool or beach visit and you're bronzed and beautiful, just concentrate on glamming up your lashes with some waterproof mascara and adding a slick of bright, summery lipgloss to your mouth. a good mascara for volumizing, look-at-me lashes is DiorShow Waterproof Mascara and as for lipgloss, try either MAC Lipglass or L'oreal Colour Juice glosses which are amazing in quality and pigmentation, and very affordable for about $6-7 at your local drugstore. i'd go for bright pink or coral, both which look beautiful with a tan. you definitely don't want to be fussing with melting foundation and powder when you're swimming or hanging out in the sun, so i'd say skip the rest of the makeup.

for your hair, you've gotta work with your natural texture because no blowout will last in the sun and humidity! for a messy, sexy look much like the one Jen regularly rocks, spray on a little texture spray with added SPF to protect your locks from the sun (try Frederic Fekkai Summer Hair Beach Waves). if you want to pull your hair up, another great thing to do is apply a deep conditioner or hair oil and twist your hair into a bun, letting the sun warm your hair which helps the treatment to penetrate more deeply (try Ojon Restorative Hair Treatment). don't forget to apply a generous amount of your favorite sunscreen because skin cancer is SO NOT HOT! if you're getting wet in the water or working up a sweat playing volleyball, make sure to reapply every 2 hours to get the best protection. throw on some sunglasses, grab your beach towel and have a blast! and remember to soak up a few rays for The Kitty! meow!